How many times have you (or someone you know) said, "S/he's the one!" only to realize several months later, s/he was NOT?
The honeymoon period can last anywhere between a few weeks, and in some cases up to 2 years! During this time, you have the ability to "ignore" the warning signs and the "alarm bells."
You will make excuses and reasons to remain in the relationship because you are, in LOVE.
You will have all heard the saying “love is blind!” Well, the initial stages of love definitely can affect the way you see your relationship with your partner.
Time and time again, you may find yourself moving from one relationship and heartache to the next. To know your relationship requirements and the power archetypes is so important if you want to avoid continuously falling for the wrong person for you.
Knowing the power archetypes will stop you from repeating the same behaviors.
Knowing your relationship requirements and needs is like having your "shopping list" when you are choosing a partner based on his or her qualities and compatibility. It is not a shopping list based on his or her looks or how much money she or he earns!
When you know what you need and require in a relationship, YOU become the chooser and YOU ARE in control.
There are 7+ billion people on this planet, so you can’t say “there is no one out there for me!” If you do, you have a scarcity mentality. Yes, you can choose and attract your ideal partner when you know what you want and you won’t settle for anything less
Relationship requirements are non-negotiable and they must be met for your relationship to work. For example, a common requirement is, fidelity. If this requirement is broken, your relationship will not work.
Requirements are normally "deal breakers!" Other common requirements can include: integrity, emotional intimacy, common life vision, flexibility, etc.
What is non-negotiable to you in your relationship? Is it being treated as a priority? If it is, don't ignore your intuition and the behavior of your partner (warning signs) if you're not being treated as a priority! Particularly in the early stages of your relationship (honeymoon period).
Listen to your gut and your heart!
Needs in a relationship are negotiable, but if your needs continue to be unmet, they can become deal breakers and you may find your relationship ending.
Needs are emotional and functional. Functional needs are practical such as helping out with chores, meals, etc.
Emotional needs are the way you are treated and what you're prepared to accept.
Now, think about your ideal relationship (not the relationship you may be in a the moment).
What do you need in a relationship to be happy? To have a happy and successful relationship, you must be clear with yourself and your partner about your needs.
Do you need intimacy? Do you need fun?
If you're not getting them in your relationship, why not? Is your partner willing and able to meet your needs? You can be creative and compromise on how your needs are met. For example, having fun with a friend instead of your partner, but don't compromise to the point where your partner does not meet any of your needs; you're compromising yourself and you will be unhappy.
- Make a list of your 6-10 relationship requirements (if your requirement can be negotiated, it’s probably a need rather than a requirement).
- Know and own your requirements - don’t compromise your sense of self and ignore the warning signs!
- Identify as many needs as you can (as you change and grow, your needs will also change, so review them regularly).
- Take control and responsibility for your needs and requirements in the relationship. Communicate your needs and requirements with your partner, he’s not a mind reader.
- Make a Vision of your ideal relationship and life. What does it look like? Do you want 2 children and live in the suburbs? If you have a partner, check out your partner’s relationship vision (s/he may want totally different things and it’s better to find out now rather than later).
- If you’re looking for a relationship, be the chooser – not a victim. Remember your requirements and needs in a relationship. If s/he is not able and willing to meet them, move on!
- Remove any thoughts of scarcity when choosing and attracting your ideal partner.
- Be authentic - Love yourself first and foremost. ‘Like attracts like’, if you love yourself, you will attract a person who will love you for YOU because you’re WORTH IT!
Your turn: What are your relationship requirements?
Contact me and we'll transform your relationship from "on the ropes" to "happily ever after."
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