Fear of Commitment
What does commitment mean to you?
Do you have a fear of commitment?
How do you show commitment in your relationships?
Are you fearful of commitment and don’t let anyone in emotionally?
Commitment is shown in two different ways:
- In ‘fact’, through an action such as marriage, and
- In ‘belief and attitude’, for example, staying in the relationship no matter what.
Just because you are married, or living with someone, does not mean you are in a committed relationship. You, or your husband/wife/partner, may be in the relationship because you do not want to be on your own and you will leave if someone/something better comes along. This relationship is committed in ‘fact’ because the couple is married/sharing their lives together, but the ‘beliefs and attitudes’ are NOT committed.
If your relationship is to succeed, there needs to be a deep level of commitment from you and your partner.
Without commitment, the likelihood of the relationship lasting is really small and no amount of therapy, counseling or coaching is going to help you or this relationship!
Commitment takes the time to develop. The longer you are in a relationship, the deeper the level of commitment, however, this does not always happen.
On a conscious level, ask yourself: Is this the right relationship for me? If it is, is your goal for the relationship, commitment? If not, do you have a fear of commitment?
When you get into a relationship and things start to get ‘too serious’, do you ‘end it’ and move on to the next relationship?
Does someone telling you they “love you” fill you with fear of being consumed and you feel suffocated?
Do you value your independence, personal and financial freedom too much but yet still want a partner?
Is ending a relationship when it gets ‘too serious’ a pattern for you? If it is, you may have unproductive behavior patterns that are stopping you from having a loving, fulfilling and committed relationship.
Adults who fear, and avoid, commitment actually want, and desire, an intimate relationship, but because of their fear of rejection and not wanting to fail in relationships and get hurt, they avoid committing in their ‘belief and attitude’, and end the relationship when things get ‘too serious’.
Coaching does not look at or address underlying psychological causes of fear of commitment. Coaching does, however, help you to understand your ‘attitudes and beliefs’ about commitment and practical ways to change these so you can have a loving, fulfilling and committed relationship.
© By Sharon Craig. All rights reserved. 2016 Relationship Coach. Relationship Coaching Institute (RCI). Coach 2 Connect.