What is your communication style? Why is it important to know when it comes to relationships?

This post will help you to change your energy so you can quickly resolve conflict within your relationships.

As individuals, we use our senses when we interact with others. We see the person (visual), we hear them (tonal/auditory), we feel or sense things (kinaesthetic), and we think/process information (digital). When you are relaxed and not under stress, you use all of these senses, however, it is a very different story when you are under stress.

When you are having a blazing row with your partner, you may think:

"She’s wrong and I’m right."

Or, "He just doesn’t see things the way I do."

Or, your partner is "just not listening to you"

There is a perfectly good explanation for all of this, and more. When you are under stress, for whatever reason, your body has the feeling of "fight or flight" and your senses "shut down." 

According to Donna Eden, in times of stress, people will favor their predominant sensory style, seeing, hearing, feeling or thinking. The problem, is when you're under stress, your sensory style may be in conflict with your partner’s and they too may have reverted to their predominant sensory style.


I am a tonal, and when under stress, I don’t hear! I can not hear what the person is trying to tell me…it’s, not a choice, it’s just how it is.

A tonal/auditory sensory type finds it difficult to hear the other person’s point of view when they are having an argument with another. A tonal hears their own point of view.


A Kinaesthetic finds it difficult to ‘not’ feel empathy for the other person and they want to make things right.

Kinaesthetics also find it difficult to find the words to explain how they are feeling and generally lose an argument, particularly with a digital.


Digital/thinkers use the logical brain and do not see it from another person’s perspective; they are right and that is that. They do not go into feelings and can not hear or see another person’s point of view.


A visual has difficulties seeing it from the other person’s perspective, they can only see their own point of view.

Donna Eden provides a free energetic stress style quiz, which takes approximately 7 minutes to do, so you and your partner can identify your energetic styles. Please click here to access direct link.

Next time you are having an argument and have that ‘fight or flight’ experience, consider your energetic stress style and how it may be impacting on your ability to resolve a problem.

Knowing the other person’s energetic stress style will also help you to understand why they may not see it from your point of view, or, they just don’t seem to be listening.

To access all of your senses and get rid of the "fight or flight" feeling so you can quickly work through your problems, try to change your energy by taking several deep breaths, going for a quick walk, or do some of Donna Eden’s energy techniques...it's amazing how quickly you can change your energy so you can start to see, hear, feel and think more clearly and move forward.

Your turn: Have you worked out your communication style?

How is this impacting on you and your relationships?

In joy


Contact me to learn more about how you can use your communication style to your advantage in your relationships.