What type of single are you?
What type of single are you? Does it matter? Why do you need to know?
Did you know there are seven main types of singles? I will talk about each one of the seven types of singles below.
When you go on your next date, consider what type of single the person your date is. If he/she is a different single, why is that? Does it matter he/she is the same or different? Let’s take a look.
Single Type 1:
You’re actively looking for a partner.
You feel, and believe, that your current relationship status (single) is temporary.
You’re doing something about it! You’re being proactive and joining dating sites etc. You’re also optimistic about finding your ideal partner, which does make you a ‘magnet babe!’
Single Type 2:
2. Recently Divorced/Separated/Widowed.
- You are recovering from grief and loss.
- You are not ready to be in a relationship at this time.
- You are ‘licking your wounds.’
- You are reflecting on what you had.
Did you know when people end a relationship, they are NOT grieving the loss of the person they were with, they are mourning the loss of the ‘dream’ of the situation (2.4 children/white picket fence, etc.)?
When you realize that you’re grieving the loss of a dream rather than the ‘person,’ it’s much easier to ‘move on!’
It helped me when this message ‘sank in’ – I hope it helps you too if you’re at this stage!
Single Type 3:
3. Frustrated Single!
- You: Want a partner, but you’re not able to find one and give up.
- You: Rest/recover/recuperate.
- You: Question what you’re doing; am I mad doing this AGAIN?!?!
- And You Start back dating again later.
- And You Give up again.
- And You Start again, and on it goes.
If this is you, the following can help:
- Support from family and friends.
- No expectations from dating.
- Learn to enjoy the journey.
- Learn from the experience.
- Accept that you will have times when you get tired of dating and this is normal.
- Understand you’re developing skills that will get you to a position where you’ll be confident and ready when you meet your ideal partner.
- Take up the opportunity of being single to love and nurture you.
- Take up new hobbies.
- Increase your network of friends.
What type of single are you? Have you seen it yet? Only four more to go.
Single Type 4:
4. Passive Single.
You want a relationship, but you’re not actively looking for one. You’re almost hoping someone will knock on your front door or fall into your lap from the heavens.
How many times have you met a previous partner from them knocking on your front door (this is someone you have not known)?
How many times have you met a previous partner from them falling into your lap from the heavens?
So, if you want to have a relationship, you’re going to have to do something about it.
- Start looking.
- Tell your friends and family you’re looking for a long-term partner.
- Join a ‘decent’ internet dating site and be clear what you want in a relationship (you become the chooser)
- Participating in a club.
- Take up a hobby.
- Join a night class.
- Go out with friends.
- Start a group on ‘Meetup’
- Let’s get proactive. Stop waiting to be ‘chosen’ and become the chooser!
Single Type 5:
5: Single But NOT Available
You see yourself as single and want a lasting relationship, but you end up “hooking up” to get your needs met, and this gets in the way of your availability for a long-term relationship.
When you have ‘hook ups’ you are sending a signal to those men who are available (and may be a real potential) that you’re not available.
Even though in your mind, you’re not emotionally attached to the person you’re ‘hooking up’ with, it DOES affect the ‘signals’ that you put out.
On an emotional level, you’re in a different head space and not ‘so available’ for Mr./Mrs. Right when you have ‘hook ups.’
Don’t get me wrong; hook-ups have their place, but – If you’re serious about wanting a ‘long-term’ relationship, ‘hook ups’ get in the way of you finding your ideal partner.
Why waste your time on someone who is just a hook-up, and it’s holding you back finding your perfect partner?
What type of single are you? Have you seen it yet? Only two more to go.
Single Type 6:
6. Too Busy & Distracted Single
You see yourself as being too busy for a relationship.
You are busy with your career, or bringing up children as a single parent, etc., and you just don’t have the time or desire to date or have a partner.
If you want to have a partner or be in a relationship with someone, you’ll find the time. The times you have probably found yourself in the past with not enough time or money to do something, and you’ve managed to do it because you wanted it.
If you find yourself this type of single, you could scale yourself on a scale of 1-10 (1=least, 10=highest) of how motivated you are to be in a relationship.
If your score is under 8, you’re more than likely not motivated enough to dating.
Consider what needs to change in your life that will move your score to an 8. Put a plan in place to get your motivation to an 8 or higher.
Single Type 7:
7: Single by Choice
You have no desire for a partner. For you, being single is a conscious and permanent lifestyle choice for many reasons, which may including:
- “Been there, done that, got the t-shirt and don’t want to do it again
- A religious/spiritual reason
- You’re a Loner
- You value your independence more than being in a relationship
- You’re into Polyamory/alternative lifestyle, and this doesn’t support cohabitation
- You’re Celibate/asexual
- Financially, you prefer to be on your own
- You feel too old to start again or adjust to another relationship.
- You have health issues that impact on your ability to want or be in a relationship. You also don’t want to be a ‘burden’ on a partner.
As you can see from the list above, there is a reason that you’re single.
What type of single are you?
What type of single is the person you’re on a date with?
Does it matter if they’re a different single type? Yep, it can be. If you’re a frustrated single on a date with a ‘single but not available’ (has a hook-up partner), how emotionally available is this person? You get the picture!
What type of single are you? Are you going to make some changes to become a Temporary Single? What do you need to do to change to a Temporary Single? You may consider some of my hints and tips above.
Why not check out my page on singles?
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© Sharon Craig. All Rights Reserved. 2017 Relationship Coach & Social Worker. Coach 2 Connect.