Set yourself up for success!
Conscious Dating supports three critical factors so you can have an intimate relationship with your "ideal partner."
Be clear about who you are, what you want (and your children, if you are a parent), your interests, values, beliefs, life's purpose, boundaries, and goals.
Know and advocate for what you want, need and require in a life partner and relationship. Have a clear vision of your ideal partner; you become the chooser!
Know how to get what you want in a relationship (with confidence), spot red flags quickly and easily, and where to find and meet your life partner.
Below are the most important articles for conscious dating singles I've published to help you find the right tools and attract your ideal partner!
You've got a plan for your career—isn't your romantic life just as important?
Stop wandering through the bars or scrolling dating sites aimlessly, hoping to find "the one."
If you're single and serious about finding your ideal partner, why not sign up for my Dating e-program for singles to master the art of dating and find the love of your life?
The best part, it's 100% free!
If this sounds like you, click here to sign up!
Conscious dating is a different way to date and attract your ideal partner. The clearer you are about your ideal relationship before you start dating, the better. Awareness of your goals in life, and what you want from a long-term partner (if you don't want "hook-ups") is also a major step towards conscious dating.
Whatever your relationship goals (hook-ups, short-term dating to test the water and gain experience, or a life partner), it's about knowing your goals, having clear plans, and making conscious choices as you move forward.
You may need the support of family members, friends, or a relationship coach on your dating journey.
What are your long-term relationship goals? If it helps, why not get a journal, or even sit at a computer, and start writing your relationship goals.
You might want to be as specific as possible, for example:
"I am in an intimate, mutually loving relationship with a person (man/woman) who is ideally matched and aligned with me."
You may notice that the example above is stated in the present tense. If you're aware of (and believe in) the Law of Attraction, try to state your goals in the present tense as if you already have your goal.
You have achieved it.
It is in your life already.
If you state your goal in the future tense, the future never arrives, it is always in the future.
You may want to add a lot more detail and keep coming back to your goals as your knowledge changes from your dating experiences. Consider putting a timeframe on achieving your relationship goals. Whatever you decide to do, it is something that you need to be comfortable with.
Okay, so we're going to dive into conscious dating so you have more of idea of what it entails. There are 10 principles of conscious dating and they are discussed in more detail below.
1. Know what you want and need in life and a relationship
Singledom is an opportunity for growth and self-discovery. Take this time to reflect, discover, and know what makes you happy. Try new hobbies. Join groups. Challenge yourself and discover what you want and need in life to make you happy. When you know this, you are able to put your happiness in your hands rather than expect a partner or a relationship to make you happy.
2. Develop new strategies to get what you want!
Find out what you need to know about conscious dating. What information are you lacking? What skills and tools do you need so you can be more aware and conscious when dating? Make a list of the gaps, tools, and skills in your knowledge. Mind mapping is a great tool for this brainstorming task. If you're unsure how to mind map, click here.
3. You are the "chooser" of your relationship!
Take full responsibility for any relationship you enter into.
You choose whether or not to enter into a relationship with a person. With this in mind, why don't you create what you want in your life by taking control. A good example might be online dating. Don't wait for that man or woman to send you a wink or a smile. Sure, if you like their profile and missed it, follow-up by contacting them back, but why not send a wink, or smile, or message, to those profiles you like? Why wait for them to indicate they like you first?
If they don't reply, so what! What have you lost? They obviously know something about themselves that you do not know, and they have "weeded" themselves out of your potential list because you are not a match. This saves you both time and energy.
4. Listen to your heart and your head
This can sound like a relationship passion killer but it's not. Dating is still fun, but you get to see any potential red flags, dating traps, deal breakers, whether or not your date meets all of your relationship requirements, your date respects your boundaries, and you both have the same life plan before you fall "head over heals" in love and totally blinded to see any of the warning signs!
5. If you want a long-term life partner, be available for a committed relationship
Do you know how ready you are for dating?
Are you ready for casual dating or a long-term committed relationship?
Why not take the Relationship Readiness Quiz below to find out?
Relationship Readiness Quiz
How ready are you for a committed relationship?
Do you think you're ready for a serious relationship but not "sure"?
Are you dating for "fun" or are you dating to find the "love of your life"?
Why not take the Relationship Readiness Quiz to assess your readiness for a relationship?
As you go through the quiz, make a note of the areas you think might interfere with your success of a relationship.
If your'e not ready for a committed relationship, but want to start dating again—great!
Know that you're dating for fun and be clear about that with yourself and the people you go on dates with. This is your ideal time to practice dating. Fine tune your wants, needs, and requirements in a long-term relationship. Get used to dating and get over those "nervous first date" moments.
Learn to have fun!
You will know when you're ready for a committed relationship. When you are, be available, which means no "friends with benefits!" When you have friends with benefits, you're not "really" available and any potential partner will know, and sense you're not!
6. Use the Law of Attraction
Be a conscious chooser of your next relationship and attract your ideal partner into your life by living, and being, the person you want to attract. We've all heard the saying, "Like attracts like." If you behave, act, think, and interact how you want your ideal partner to be, that is who you attract. On the other hand, if you "ghost" your date, or are dismissive and rude because you're not attracted to them, you will attract people who will ghost you, etc.
7. Increase your Relationship Skills and Knowledge
We could all do better here, particularly if you've ended up in the same relationships (with the same problems) over and over again.
What people want, need, and require in a relationship, and our roles within a relationship, are continuously evolving. What was expected in a relationship forty years ago is significantly different today. The problem is, we received our relationship training from our parents and this paradigm is probably different for yours.
To move into the new model/paradigm of relationships and support you in your role as a partner, what better way than increasing your relationship knowledge and skills by attending relationship workshops, classes, groups, or relationship coaching. Read books on relationships. Start dating for fun to gain practice so you can take more emotional risks due to increased confidence.
8. Get a Support Network
When you're single, you can feel isolated, particularly if you're a solo-parent. Build up your support network in the community so you do not place all of your projected future happiness on a partner. No single person can live up to and meet all of your needs (and wants) in a relationship. This is a huge ask, and sets up any potential relationship for failure.
If you have a support network:
9. Practice being Assertive
You may have been brought up and conditioned to be "polite" and don't "rock the boat." As a result, you may have developed the pattern of "pleaser" and you don't know how to (or feel uncomfortable) to say, "No."
To get what you really want in relationship, you need to strengthen your ability to say,"No" when you don't want something.
Sounds easy, right?
Next time you feel like saying, "No" but are worried about offending that person, go ahead and, just say it..."NO!"
10. Be a Successful Single
When you put your life on hold waiting for the love of your life to sweep you off your feet, you're missing out on living. As a single person, this is your time. This is your opportunity to do what you want!
Write that book you've always wanted to write. The only thing that is stopping you doing what you want is fear, which isn't real.
There is no better time to attract your ideal life partner than when you're happy and living your life to the fullest. They say "misery love company." If you're miserable, you'll attract a miserable partner. If you're successfully enjoying life, you'll attract a partner who also enjoys life!
I know who I'd rather attract, don't you?
If you're interested in getting to know more about conscious dating, and how singes become couples, why not sign up for my free five-day online dating program for singles below? Did you know there's a conscious dating network?
Send me your dating questions or contact me to make an appointment for a free consultation.
I look forward to connecting
Dating E-Program for Singles: "Find the Love of Your Life"
Are you worried about repeating the same mistakes and getting into yet another lousy relationship?
I've created a FREE five-day online course that will walk you through the steps of dating so you will be ready to find the love of your life.
You will have conscious dating strategies that work. You will be confident to date and know what you want. You will know where to find the love of your life, and get hint and tips for first dates—and more!
Relationship Coach and Author
I've spent twenty years working with people in their relationships, both privately as a relationship coach, and as a social worker. You can find out about me here. Why not contact me to book your free consultation?
I came to Sharon with a block that I thought I had overcome. I consider myself a tough and evolved woman, spiritually and business wise, but when a highly volatile situation came up for me, I started to have panic attacks about an overdue decision I needed to make.
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