Are you worried about repeating the same mistakes and getting into yet another lousy relationship?

Do you end up in the same relationships (with the same problems) over and over again despite it being with a different person?

Do you want to attract someone who is your ideal partner?

Do you want your next relationship to be different from your past relationships? If you do, it means what you've done in the past hasn't worked for you, and if you want a different result (a healthy relationship), you're going to have to do things differently. 

This may sound a bit harsh, but the common denominator in all of your relationships is you. This means you're going to have to change your thinking and behavior when it comes to dating if you want to attract healthy love. 

Albert Einstein profile
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“We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.”

Love is Blind

How many times have you said, "She's the one!"  Or, "He's the one!"? Yet, several weeks, months, or a couple of years later you realize they​ certainly were not the one!!

The honeymoon period can last anywhere between a few weeks, and in some cases up to 2 years! During this time, you possibly "ignore" the warning signs and the "red flags." You will make excuses and reasons to remain in the relationship because you are,​ "in love."

You will have heard the saying, “Love is blind!” 

Well, the initial stages of love/lust can affect the way you see your relationship with your date.

Time and time again, you may find yourself moving from one relationship (and heartache) to the next.

Relationship Requirements

To know your requirements in a relationship is vital if you want to date differently, attract healthy love, and a healthy relationship. 

What do you require in a relationship and a partner for it to work?

Knowing what you require will help you to navigate the minefield of dating and choosing a partner. Your requirements should be based on another person's qualities and compatibility. For instance, maybe you've had previous partners who were emotionally unavailable and you have decided to make emotionally availability a requirement. In this example, what does emotionally available look like to you? Instead of just listing your requirements, be very specific. 

Your relationship requirements should not be based on how a person looks, or how much money they earn, etc. It's based on what you require in a relationship for it to work.

When you know your requirements, you become the chooser of your next relationship; you are in control. For example, when you go on a date with someone and you can see they are not emotionally present. They are looking around and not listening to you. This is a sign that the person is not emotionally available and is probably not going to be able to meet this requirement. 

Relationship requirements are non-negotiable. They must all be met for your relationship to work. For example, a common requirement is fidelity. If this requirement is broken, your relationship will not work.

Other popular requirements can include integrity, emotional intimacy, common life vision, flexibility, etc.

Quick Tip

Know what is non-negotiable to you in a relationship and be very clear with yourself and any person you enter into a relationship with. For instance, whether or not you are willing to have children.

Is it being treated as a priority? If it is, don't ignore your intuition and the behavior of your date/partner. Particularly if you're not being treated as a priority in the early stages of your relationship.

Listen to your gut and your heart!

What are your boundaries? Does your date respect you and your boundaries?

Relationship Needs

Needs in a relationship are negotiable, but if your needs continue to go unmet, they can become a requirement in your relationship, and you may find your relationship ending. For instance, it may have been a "need" for you to have your partner help out with the evening meal after a long day at work. However, after months and months of nagging, begging, and moaning, it has become a "deal-breaker" for you.

You feel unloved, unsupported, and "unimportant" to your partner. You want the relationship to work, but your partner has to change their ways or the relationship ends.

Functional Needs

Needs are emotional and functional. Functional needs are practical such as your date or partner helping out with chores, meals, etc. Are you willing and able to enter into a relationship with an unsupportive person?

Emotional Needs

Emotional needs are the way you are treated and what you're prepared to accept. Following on from a previous example, are you willing and prepared to enter into another relationship where your partner is emotionally unavailable?

Now, think about your ideal relationship (not the relationship you may be in at the moment, because that may not be ideal). Maybe someone else where you feel good and it's true love!

What do you need and really want in a relationship to be happy with another person? What does the first date look like? How do you interact as two people who are individuals yet have a healthy and loving bond with another?

Quick Tip

To have a happy and healthy relationship, you need to be clear with yourself and your date (or partner) about your needs.

Do you need intimacy? Do you need fun? We are all different.

If you're not getting your needs met in a relationship, why not?

Is your partner willing and able to meet your needs?

You can be creative and compromise on how your needs are met. For example, go shopping and enjoy retail therapy with a friend instead of your partner, but don't compromise to the point where your partner does not meet any of your needs; you're compromising yourself, and you will be unhappy.

Top Tips on How to Attract Healthy Love

- Make a list of your 6-10 relationship requirements (if your requirement can be negotiated, it’s probably a need rather than a requirement).

- Know and "own" your requirements - don’t compromise your sense of self. Recognize red flags!

- Identify as many "needs" as you can (as you change and grow, your needs will also change, so review them regularly. For instance, every six to twelve months).

- Take control and responsibility for your needs and requirements in a relationship. Communicate them with your date or partner; they are not a mind reader.

- Sign up for the Singles Dating Five-Day E-Program to "Find the Love of Your Life." The best part? It's FREE! Just click here to enroll today! Or click the "Enroll Now" button below.

- Make a Vision of your ideal relationship and life. What does it look like? Do you want two children and live in the suburbs? If you have a partner, check out your partner’s relationship vision (they may want something completely different and it’s better to find out now rather than later).

- If you’re looking for a relationship, be the chooser—not a victim. Remember your requirements and needs in a relationship. If the person you're dating is not able and willing to meet them (all of them), move on!

- Remove any thoughts of scarcity when choosing and attracting your ideal partner. There are billions of people on the planet!

- Be authentic - Love yourself first and foremost. "Like attracts like." If you love yourself, you will attract a person who will love you for you because you’re, worth it!

Your turn: What are your relationship requirements? Get specific! If you require emotional intimacy, what does it look like to you?

If you haven't done so already, remember to sign up for the free five-day dating e-program below.

Sign up for my FREE Dating E-Program for Singles: "Find the Love of Your Life."

Are you worried about repeating the same mistakes and getting into yet another lousy relationship?

I've created a FREE five-day online course that will walk you through the steps of dating so you ill be ready to find the love of your life.

You will have conscious dating strategies that work.

You will be confident to date and know what you want.

You will know where to find the love of your life, and get hints and tips for first dates—and more!

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Until next time


Relationship Coach and Dating Coach

Coach 2 Connect

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