We all need and want to feel loved. The need to feel loved is hardwired into our brains. Time and time again, research has stated the importance of touch in human development and how this supports the emotional and physical growth in babies and children. Just because you are now an adult does not mean that touch is no longer important.
There is, therefore, no surprise why we want a partner in our lives and share our life's journey. There is nothing more exciting than a new relationship, particularly if you believe you're a perfect match and meet your potential partner for life. However, wanting something is one thing, but actually having it is another.
Lack of affection and intimacy in your life can, therefore, be a huge driving force and factor into why you seek love from others to fill that void when you are single. However, coming from a place of "desperation" and "need" is not the ideal place to come from when you want to attract your ideal partner.
Many people can spend hours trawling online dating sites to find love; that someone special. Life today can be very busy, and opportunities to meet new people can be difficult, so there's little wonder internet dating is popular. If you are on an online dating site, do you pay close attention to a potential partner's dating profile and look for similar values, or do you go by physical attraction? Or, do you use past experiences as a guide when you are looking at choosing your perfect match?
There's little wonder we can get lost in the minefield of dating, and some people may seek relationship advice and dating tips along the way.
Are you ready?
When you are in a place of desperation because you believe you will "always" be single, you are either going to "settle" for a person who is not your ideal mate because you believe there isn't anyone else out there for you, or you will attract another person who is also "desperate" to find a partner because they believe time is running out for them.
To be honest with you, there is nothing more unattractive than going on a date with someone who reeks of "desperation." You can sense it and feel it; you know it's there as soon as you meet up. A person who is desperate to get into a relationship will find all the reasons why the date is an ideal partner whilst ignoring the red flags.
So how to get a date with someone who is your "ideal partner" will be determined by you.
Most people have heard the saying, "like attracts like" and if you're "desperate," yep, you've got it, you're going to end up in a relationship with someone who is also desperate, and that is not an ideal base to start from.
The desperation mentality is "scarcity" thinking. You may think and believe you're getting too old to get into another relationship. Or you're overweight and no one will find you attractive. Or you're not clever enough, etc. You get the picture. What you believe about yourself is what you will achieve; the converse is also true.
If there are 7+ billion people on this planet, how can you have a "scarcity" mentality and believe there is not an ideal partner for you (regardless of your age/weight, or other limiting beliefs you may have)?
Put an end to attracting lousy relationships!
Singledom is an opportunity for growth and self-discovery. Now is your time to discover how to get a first date with your ideal partner! If you want to find lasting love, take this time to reflect, discover, and know what makes you happy.
There is nothing more attractive than a positive person on a date and this is how to get a date with someone who is your ideal partner; you'll be the chooser and your date won't be able to resist!
So, whilst you're enjoying your life as a single person, why not take this opportunity to start a new hobby? Join a group? You never know, you might meet your ideal partner in the group you join. Why not start reading those books you promised you'd get around to reading?
Google what interests you and find out how you can develop them. Why not write that book instead of reading? You may want to start a Meetup group in our local community. Or why not take up meditation (I can't support this one enough for self-awareness and personal growth)? Why not start journaling and get into the zone? You may be surprised what you put on to the page about yourself that you didn't know.
As you can see, being single is not a "life sentence," and doom and gloom.
Singledom is what you make it.
Being single can be fun and an adventure where you can open up to opportunities for you to expand and grow. Or you can be pessimistic and see "all" the reasons why you can't do something or meet your ideal partner—the choice is yours.
“No relationship will make you feel whole—only you can do that! A great relationship will put the icing on the cake.”
Learn to love and accept yourself for who you are. Take this time to understand what makes you happy. According to the psychologist, Daniel Goleman, your body has an emotional intelligence of its own.
Most people are stuck in their heads and have switched off listening to their bodies. This is your opportunity to learn to listen to your body. Your body is your barometer—it tells you what is right and good for you. But it also tells you what is not right or good for you.
For example, when you go on a date with someone, your body will tell you if the person you are with is a good match or not. If you experience a headache during (or shortly after) the date but don't normally have headaches, what is your body trying to tell you? Were you tense and uncomfortable with the person you were on a date with? Did you feel guarded? Did you feel relaxed and natural?
When you listen to your body, it is telling you how to get a date with someone who is your ideal partner. You don't want to waste your time going on dates with just anyone (as mentioned above) for the sake of it. You want to have quality dates rather than quantity.
When someone asks you on a date, try to make a decision based on how your body feels. If you think about saying, "yes" to the person, does your body feel tense or does it feel excited? If you think about saying, "no" to the person, how does your body feel now? Which one feels better to you?
Look, feel, and be aware of your feelings. Use your feelings to guide you on your dating and relationship journey.
You are learning the art of genuinely honoring and loving yourself by listening to your body rather than "opting" for a relationship based on your head, which may say, "It's better than being single."
Remember, singledom is an opportunity for you to have fun. The people you go on a date with will need to match (or increase) your level of enjoyment, otherwise why go on a date with them?
The people you do on a date with will need to match (or increase) your level of enjoyment otherwise, why go on a date with them?
I would like to challenge you.
I am asking you to check in with the feelings that your body gives you when you are either on your next date or asked on a date.
as your guidance system regarding whether or not you go on a date with this person, or see them again.
You will know if someone is a potentially ideal partner, or it is a potential relationship based on your scarcity thinking.
Continue to learn, develop, and nurture yourself. When you love yourself (no, not the narcissistic way), you attract others into your life who will love you for you rather than people who are also desperate for love.
You deserve love.
Love yourself first and foremost. Love from an intimate partner will be the icing on the cake rather than you trying to feel complete by having a partner in your life. This is the secret to how to get a date with someone who is your ideal partner.
If you want to know more about red flags, click here. Or click the link below to download your free red flags checklist!
If you have any questions about your relationships and wonder how I can support you, why not click the "Let's Connect" button below to connect with me so you can start dating your ideal partner?
Relationship Coach and Dating Coach
Coach 2 Connect
Whether you realize it or not, there’s a story that governs your relationships. There are unconscious patterns, stories, and programs that shape your behavior in our relationships. To recognize and change these behaviors you need to know how power archetypes are at work in your relationships.
You have a dominant power archetype that determines how you react in times of need, and being overwhelmed, stressed, and afraid. By learning your dominant power archetype you can uncover the heart of the conflict in your relationships and move into a place of confidence, balance, and happiness.
If you wonder why you end up in the same relationships (with the same problems) over and over again and want to change this, check out my book, Female Power Archetypes, on Amazon by clicking the button below!
A simple assessment tool to support you to make the right decision for you!
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