Why do you need to know?
Did you know that the kind of single person you are will influence the chances of your meeting (or not meeting) your ideal partner?
There are seven main types of singles, which I will talk about below.
Next time you go on a date, consider what type of single the person you are on a date with is. If they are a different single type, why is that? Does it matter they are the same kind of single or different?
You have the mindset of a person who will be single for a short period. You are on a mission and are actively looking for a partner. You feel, and believe, that your current relationship status (single) is temporary. You "know" that someone who is your ideal partner is just around the corner.
You're doing something about your relationship status! You're being proactive and joining dating sites, and on a local dating app, etc. You have a goal, and a plan on how to reach your goal.
You may even attend dating events or have a local coffee shop where you have your first date with those you are interested in meeting from dating sites. You may have support from family members and friends. You may even go on blind dates with other single people to support one another.
You're optimistic about finding your ideal partner, which makes you a "magnet babe!" You may have broken hearts along the way, but you know what you want in a relationship and you will not settle. You have your list of requirements and getting into a relationship with married people is not on our agenda!
As a person who has recently divorced, separated, or widowed, you are recovering from grief and loss. You are not ready to be in a serious or long-term relationship. This is a time for you to heal and "lick your wounds." You are reflecting on what you had and mourning the loss of your dream and the life you had together with your previous partner.
Did you know that when people end a relationship, they are not grieving the loss of the person they were with, they are mourning the loss of the "dream" (2.4 children/white picket fence, etc.)?
When you realize that you're grieving the loss of a dream rather than the "person," it's much easier to "move on!" The single type 2 person is not ready to meet another person, and if you do, it's more for "friendship" rather than romantic.
Most people have felt frustrated in their life so you will understand when you think of the frustrated single. As a frustrated single, you want a partner, but you're not able to find one and give up. You might constantly go through the cycle of rest, recover, and recuperate. Eventually you might even question what you are doing and ask, "Am I mad doing this again?!?!"
You have a break from dating and start back again only later to give up, again! And you start again, and on it goes.
Get yourself some support from family, friends, and maybe a dating coach. Try to get yourself into the mindset of "no expectations" from dating and just enjoy the journey and experience. You're also learning the art of dating along the way.
Accept that you will have times when you tire of dating and this is normal. Understand you are developing skills that will get you to a position where you'll be confident (and ready) when you meet your ideal partner.
Take this opportunity of being single to love and nurture you, maybe take up new hobbies and increase your network of friends along the way.
What kind of single person are you? Have you seen it yet? Only four more to go.
You want a relationship, but you're not actively looking for one. You're almost hoping someone will knock on your front door or fall into your lap from the heavens. You can come across as though you couldn't care less, which can be very off-putting for any potential partner.
How many times have you met a previous partner from them knocking on your front door (this is someone you have not known)? How many times have you met a previous partner from them falling into your lap from the heavens Right, none!
If you want to have a relationship, you need to do something about it:
Get proactive. Stop waiting to be "chosen" and become the chooser!
“Each time that you don't know you are choosing, then of those choices you are not the chooser.”
5: Single But NOT Available
You see yourself as single and want a lasting relationship, but you end up "hooking up" to get your needs met, and this gets in the way of your availability for a long-term relationship. When you have a "hook-up" or a "friend with benefits," you are signaling to those who are available (and maybe a real potential) that you're not available.
Even though (in your mind) you're not emotionally attached to the person you are hooking up with, it affects the "signals" that you put out.
On an emotional level, you're in a different head space and "not so available" for Mr. or Mrs. Right because you're involved with another person. Hook-ups have their place, but if you are serious about wanting a long-term relationship, hook-ups impede you finding your ideal partner.
Why waste your time on someone who is a friend with benefits or a hook-up? It's holding you back from finding your ideal partner.
Only two more to go!
You see yourself as being "too busy" for a relationship. You are busy with your career, or bringing up children as a single parent, etc., and you just don’t have the time or desire to date or have a partner.
If you want to have a partner or be in a relationship with someone, you’ll find the time. The times you have probably found yourself in the past with not enough time or money to do something, but you have done it because you wanted it.
If you find you are too busy or distracted to get into a relationship, you could scale yourself on a scale of 1-10 (1=least, 10=highest) of how motivated you are to be in a relationship.
If your score is under 8, you're more than likely not motivated enough to date.
What can you do or change in your life so you will be motivated to date? Why not join a dating site with a friend who is also single!
Consider what needs to change in your life that will move your score to an 8. Put a plan in place to get your motivation to an 8 or higher.
You have no desire for a partner. For you, being single is a conscious and permanent lifestyle choice for many reasons, which may include:
As you can see from the list above, there is a reason that you're single.
What kind of single person are you?
What type of single is the person you're on a date with?
Does it matter if they're a different single type?
Yep, different single types can cause issues and here's one reason:
If you're a frustrated single on a date with a "single who is not available" (has a friend with benefits), how emotionally available is this person? You're already frustrated and the last thing you need is to get emotionally involved with someone who is not 100% available. You will only become more frustrated. Do you get the picture?
What do you need to do to change to a Temporary Single?
You may consider some of my hints and tips above. Have you considered the support and guidance from a dating coach?
Maybe you are curious if you're ready for a committed relationship. Why not take the quick Relationship Readiness Quiz by clicking the "Start Quiz" button below to see if you are ready for a new relationship.
As you go through the quiz, make a note of the areas you think might interfere with your success in a relationship.
Copyright © 2020 Coach 2 Connect