Of course you do, who doesn't? Otherwise, why would you be in a romantic relationship, right? However, your expectations of intimacy may significantly differ from that of your partner and reality!
Intimacy in a relationship involves two people and it can be:
Physical intimacy such as sex can increase the connection and intimacy between you and your partner, however, emotional intimacy with your partner increases the likelihood of your relationship lasting long-term.
On an emotional level, intimacy can be interpreted as, “Into me I see”.
When your partner connects with you in a deep and meaningful way, you are allowing them to see the true you; it is the ultimate experience when it comes to intimacy. Emotional intimacy is therefore considered a much deeper level of connection than physical intimacy. There are also different levels of intimacy. For instance, over time, as trust develops intimacy goes to another level.
To have a deep, meaningful, and authentic intimacy, you will need to be open and honest. You expect your partner to be honest with you, but in reality, you may find it difficult to be honest with your partner, particularly when it involves feelings. Maybe you fear conflict and believe that you will end up in an argument with your partner if you express how you feel? Know that couples fight with one another, and it might actually be healthy getting things off your chest that are long overdue, but it's how you express your point of view. Explore with your partner. Test the waters to see how they react. For all you know, you may get the response, "I never knew!"
You’ll need to be willing and prepared to express your deepest fears, and share your wants and needs. Your partner is not a "mind reader," and if you want, or need, or fear, something in your relationship, you will need to tell them.
If you keep finding yourself in relationships that are not authentic, and there is a lack of intimacy, ask yourself,
"How am I not being true and authentic?"
Sounds pretty simple but, "you don't know what you don't know."
So....did you know that when you're authentic and put yourself in a position where you're vulnerable (yep, that means facing your fear of being rejected, potentially ridiculed, and abandoned), you actually increase intimacy and authenticity, and have a more genuine connection with your partner?
Expressing your deepest fears can be pretty scary, particularly if you’re not used to doing it. You might worry that your partner will think less of you for exposing your negative side and reject you because you’re "less than perfect." You might feel very vulnerable and wonder whether or not you’ve done the right thing.
When you don't express your authentic self to your partner, you're denying and rejection "you."
You are saying:
Eventually, if you continue being inauthentic , you become resentful and your relationship will suffer, or even end.
You can only be as true and authentic as you can be at the time.
When it comes to authenticity, and wanting that in your relationship, you have to be authentic with yourself (for what is true for you at the time).
You've heard the saying, "Like attracts like," and it does.
When you come from a place of inauthenticity, you will have a connection with your partner that is inauthentic and is built on illusion, pretense, falseness, and as a result, distrust and fear will appear in your relationship.
Many reasons can cause a person to be inauthentic, but in a "nutshell," they want/need to be accepted, liked/loved, and to get something from another person, for example, they want a relationship with them and don't want to be rejected/abandoned.
The problem with inauthenticity is: the inauthentic person is not being their true self and they can only keep up the pretense for a certain period of time, and as a result, his/her behavior will start to change and "cracks" will appear in the relationship!
Maybe you're the one who is trying to "fit in" and be accepted by your partner and you're ignoring all those irritating traits that she/he has? Believe me, those traits do not go away, and over time—they become more irritating!
When you expose and share your vulnerability with your partner, it develops and increases trust in your relationship.
Your partner will get to see the true and authentic you. When this happens, they will trust you with their feelings. The more you open up to your partner, the more they will open up to you!
You will be able to have a relationship that is based on deep, meaningful, authentic intimacy that is reciprocated.
Do you want a deep and meaningful relationship with your partner that is not based on fear?
Are you ready to take the leap of faith?
11 Ways to Increase Authentic Intimacy in Your Relationship
If you have a question or challenges that are getting in the way of you having authentic intimacy in your relationship, hit the "Let's Connect" button below to book your free 30-45 minute coaching session with me, Sharon Craig.
Contact me and we'll transform your relationship so you can have "authentic intimacy and unconditional love!"
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