THE KEY TO A SUCCESSFUL AND LOVING RELATIONSHIP
Discover your, and your partner's, dominant power archetypes and how they interact; your relationship patterns and how you compete for power.
When you know of your patterns, you can make choices; to end or continue the competition for power in your relationship. You can have a healthy relationship!
Below are the most important articles for couples I've published to help you find the right tools and develop awareness so you can be the "perfect couple."
When the "honeymoon" period is over and the chemistry in your relationship has subsided, daily living can become mundane and boring. Your relationship can take a "backseat" and you may feel that you're constantly working, parenting (if you care for children), and doing chores. It's at this point relationships face difficulties and many marriages and partnerships end in separation.
Don't be another statistic. Prioritize your relationship and create the emotional intimacy, and connection you desire and deserve, so you can have a happy relationship and be the "perfect couple." Many couples struggle to find time to connect. Some couples say they find relationships hard work and end up prioritizing time on social media rather than committing to a "date night" with their partner or playing games together. Do not devalue the importance of time spent together; it brings you closer together. To keep that spark alive, yes, you have to work at your relationship so you enjoy time together.
If you want to get the connection, love, and intimacy back into your relationship (and maintain it), continue reading.
If you're tired of the same results, it's time to try something new.
I can support you to identify unhelpful beliefs and stories at play in your relationship so you can take off your masks, stop playing out old patterns, and relate from your true selves. You can have a fulfilling relationship and be a happy couple.
In relationships, we play out unconscious patterns we developed early in life. We tell ourselves stories about ourselves and others, and as a result, our relationships lack depth and honesty, and they can't go the distance.
Some couples seem able to just work out their differences, but how?
We all have patterns of behavior that we adopt and move into, particularly when we are in a relationship, and I'm no different.
When we feel powerless and disconnected, we move into these patterns (because it's a habit and familiar) to compete with our partner to gain power. We all do it, but some more than others. And sometimes, we will use our patterns more than others, depending on how we feel.
The more disconnected, fearful, and powerless you feel in yourself and your relationship, the more you use your power pattern!
Know that the patterns you use to compete for power with your partner were created when you were a child and probably haven't evolved since then. What worked for you as a five-year-old to gain power and ensure your survival is still operating and being used by you in your adult and intimate relationship (yes, your partner is using their patterns too).
I've discovered that when people get past their negative view of the word "archetype" as being a theoretical construct (wishy-washy/new-age/hippie), and realize that it is a robust way to structure, frame, and name patterns being played out in their intimate relationship, they very quickly have a "light-bulb" moment and see the patterns at play.
Archetypes is a robust way to frame, structure, and name patterns at play in your relationship.
Couples quickly grasp the issues, patterns, and why they experience conflict and compete for power in their relationship. They are then able to change their patterns and their relationship!
You can only change what you know. Couples also feel relieved when they realize they're not alone in their patterns!
I developed a framework, Power Archetypes, to support couples to recognize their own patterns, why and how they compete for "power," and how to change them.
Within this framework, couples know they are normal. They realize they can make different choices and change the patterns.
If your relationship is struggling and you're not sure what to do about it, there is something you can do that will not only fix these patterns, it will also improve the quality of all your relationships—including the one with yourself: Learn the female and male power archetypes and how to work with them.
Stories Can Dictate Your Relationship.
Whether or not you realize it, there are stories that control your relationship and how you see your partner.
How do you see your partner? Do you see your partner as nagging? Sexy? Boring? Controlling? Aloof? Cold-hearted? Or kind and loving?
Your perception of your partner will influence the way you interact with them; it alters your relationship. For instance, if your partner asked you to help with the dishes, you will view their request differently if you see your partner as a "nag" compared to if you see them as "sexy."
Most of us have unconscious patterns, stories, myths, and programs that we believe about ourselves and others, and these beliefs shape our behavior and how we function in our relationships. To recognize and change these behaviors, you need to know how power archetypes are at work in your relationship.
You have a dominant power archetype, as does your partner. The dominant archetype determines how you react in times of need, and when you're overwhelmed, stressed, anxious, and afraid.
Why Learn Power Archetypes?
Rather than have an excuse for the difficulties you experience in your relationship, for example:
"My partner is controlling." Or,
"My partner doesn't understand me." Or,
"I don't feel loved in my relationship," etc,
...when you know and understand the power archetypes, it will support you to stop struggling and competing for power with your partner. Instead, you will gain power and have a healthier relationship—by making conscious choices!
When you understand and know your dominant power archetype, you can uncover the heart of the conflict in your relationship and move into a place of confidence, balance, and happiness.
You might notice that you want the stories you tell yourself about your partner and your relationship to be more positive. Mind Movies is a modern-day version of a "vision board" and a way to use affirmations to support you to have a more positive relationship with your partner. Why not use the power of the law of attraction and watch the Mind Movie below every day (even twice a day) for 30 days?
You can make your own personalized Mind Movie (for free) using tools online. Click here to find out how.
You can be the "perfect couple."
Send me your relationship question or contact me by hitting the link below to make an appointment for a free 30-45 minute consultation.
I look forward to connecting
Relationship Coach and Dating Coach
Coach 2 Connect
Relationship Coach, Dating Coach, and Author
I've spent twenty years working with people in their relationships, both privately as a relationship coach, and as a social worker. You can find out about me here. Or you hit the button below to send your relationship question or contact me to make an appointment for a free consultation. Available Worldwide by Skype, Zoom, FreeConference, or FaceTime.
Here's what some of the people who've worked with me are saying...
I came to Sharon with a block that I thought I had overcome. I consider myself a tough and evolved woman, spiritually and business wise, but when a highly volatile situation came up for me, I started to have panic attacks about an overdue decision I needed to make.
Sharon asked questions and got to the heart of what was blocking me from moving forward; I found my truth and clarity.
I was really confused about what my truth was and Sharon helped me to figure myself out and why I wanted to pass out every time I had to make this very hard decision.
Since working with Sharon on my blocks that were preventing me from enjoying life, and taking steps that were needed, I now have a lightness and clarity about my decisions and my previous long-term relationship, which was causing me guilt, is finally ‘a thing of the past’.
Sharon doesn’t just coach…
she understands what is going on with your soul. Not many relationship coaches have this instinct. Sharon is the best and I feel I have also made a life-long friend who GENUINELY cares. To have Sharon come into your life is a special experience.”
/ Owner of Manifest Marketing and mother of two young sons - Canada
"Coaching with Sharon felt easy and natural. Her positive manner, combined with her genuine and grounded approach, was reassuring and allowed me to share and reflect with ease.
Sharon’s coaching style provided me with the needed balance between challenge and support.
This encouraged my self discovery and empowered me to make the changes necessary to positively impact my life.”
/ New Zealand
Sharon is one of the best relationship expert that i've ever met, with huge knowledge and open heart. Our coaching always moved me forward to my goals and each Skype call left me with the feeling that i just had one of the most important conversation. Thank you for all your support."
I feel very fortunate to have crossed paths with Sharon. Prior to contacting Sharon my relationship with my partner on 27 years was not nice. I was unhappy and so was he. We were both treating each other in a disrespectful manner, I thought we may have to end it, but I didn't want to and knew that we were capable of treating each other kindly.
However by committing to Sharon's coaching course she was able to guide us and ask the questions that rekindled what we had. My only regret was that we should of done this course years ago. So many of us invest in everything else, possessions etc but we don't invest in our well being. For me happiness is built from firstly the relationship I have with myself and secondly the relationships I have with others, especially my partner. Sharon's coaching course is something that you would never regret doing.
If you are struggling with the relationship you have with yourself, husband, partner, child or friend this course will be life changing. If you want to wake up every day feeling the best you possibly can then I strongly recommend you contact Sharon and have a chat. Invest in your well being, it will be the best money you have ever spent. Sharon was totally invested in helping us work out the best scenario for us going forward. Sharon is extremely professional in her approach and also very passionate about what she does. She goes over and above . Thank you Sharon, forever grateful."
Amanda and Paul
/ New Zealand
"Sharon has helped me to uncover different ways to connect with my husband to get the most out of our relationship. Her guidance and support has kept me on track to focus on the important things in life, and to achieve a more rewarding family/life balance.”
/ New Zealand
"Thank you so much Sharon for the time you have spent coaching me – I have found our sessions to be Moderately invaluable in assisting me to identify where my priorities lie and my true feelings about certain aspects of my life. I have gained from our sessions an awareness of my fear of commitment and decision-making, which was impacting my life in such a big way, and a better perspective on what I truly value.
I now feel empowered with confidence to face my fears, make some plans and move forward with my life! You have helped me to see the value in my relationship and improve my communication with my partner – our relationship couldn’t be better now and I can’t thank you enough.
Your friendship, humour and non-judgemental approach to every session put me at ease, especially when discussing difficult topics, and I thoroughly enjoyed spending time with you. I will be highly recommending you!”
"As a mature, full-time student, with an involvement in establishing a small business, Sharon’s coaching has greatly helped me clarify my thinking and actions across a range of situations, and develop my own solutions.
Sharon’s natural energy and enthusiasm, together with her strong belief in the benefits of coaching, provides her with a solid platform for helping people who are facing a range of personal and workplace situations.
Sharon’s coaching style is supportive and direct. Her extensive life and work experience informs her coaching practice in a very practical manner.
I have found Sharon’s coaching sessions to be both grounded in reality and yet at the same time providing positive encouragement and support to move me into areas I might not otherwise have been happy to tackle.”
/ New Zealand
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