You may even aspire to have a relationship like the Clooneys or another famous couple. Without wanting to shatter your bubble of successful and famous couples, most of their images are perfectly managed and curated for the public. Generally, the rich and famous employ Public Relations (PR) companies. PR companies often get two successful people who have good looks and work together, to show off their best self in mainstream media and social media.
Many famous couples marry one another for the publicity, it's not simply because they spend time together, it's a business deal. They purposefully create the image of a powerful couple to sell their "brand," rub shoulders with others in the world of the elite, and remain relevant whilst making money.
What is a Power Couple?
A power couple is not any of this fake PR rubbish that we've been sold. The rich and famous have tried to sell "the dream" since the beginning of the media era, which no one can live up to, even them. The elite try to show others that they have got what "everyone wants." Seriously, they couldn't be more wrong.
You will have the real deal and nothing can top that!
Virtually every single couple competes with their partner for power. When you discover how (and why) you compete with your partner, you will learn how to harness that energy so you can join forces and support one another to become a genuine power couple.
You may not be rich.
You may not be famous.
On the bright side, what you do have an authentic relationship. You can experience the love and connection of a "real" relationship and become a power couple; a relationship everyone wants. A genuinely happy couple is something no amount of money or fame can buy!
When you work together with your partner (in partnership), understanding power of unity, you're a force to be reckoned with.
You have each other's backs and you know you can rely on the other in your time of need. You mutually respect your partner's boundaries, personal growth/goals and aspirations so they can become the best they can be, as an individual and as a couple.
When it comes to relationships and compatibility, there is no formula, assessment, quiz, test, astrology chart, card reading, or other predictive devices out there that can tell you exactly who is, and who is not right for you or how to have healthy relationships.
And if you throw chemistry and attraction into the mix, good luck!
Having said all that, there is a single powerful tool that you can use in your life to create stronger, more fulfilling, and more authentic relationships. Understanding who you are (your temperament) and how you react when you're in fear, in times of stress, need, and overwhelm is a step towards understanding the differences between you and your partner, and getting over conflict quickly.
Every conflict you have is a competition for power, and that includes competing with your partner.
”Life is made of moments; how deep those moments are depend on the quality of your relationships."
Let Go of Your Stories
We all have unconscious patterns, stories, myths, and programs that we believe about ourselves and others, and these beliefs shape our behavior and how we function in our relationships.
The unconscious mind is a term coined by a psychologist, Freud, to refer to a part of the mind that cannot be known by the conscious mind; you're not literally unconscious.
When you are in the Heroine power archetype, you see yourself as the "good" person in the relationship. You want to be needed by your partner, which makes you feel superior and valued. You have an uncanny ability to do things without being asked, and as a result, your partner feels indebted and obligated to do things for you in return.
When you are in the Needy Nag power archetype, you have a sense of anxiety and worry that your partner will leave you or that he does not love you anymore. Everywhere you look, there is confirmation that your partner does not care about you. To gain a sense of power, you pursue your partner, constantly questioning, judging, and criticizing. You also test whether your partner cares for you.
When you step into the Boss power archetype, you have to be in control. You believe you are superior and more entitled to dominate and control your partner. You tend to adopt a domineering and authoritarian position when you compete for power with your partner. You gain attention by using forceful, loud, controlling, and sometimes threatening outbursts.
When you are in the Damsel in Distress power archetype, you feel powerless, helpless, resentful, and unable to change your situation. You gain power through making your partner feel a sense of obligation to do things for you through pity and guilt. You avoid taking responsibility for doing things for yourself and rely on your partner to meet your needs. You fear not being good enough for your partner and believe he will criticize or ignore you when you do not meet his expectations.
When you are in the Ice Queen power archetype, you gain a sense of power and control in the relationship by withdrawing and closing down. You get a sense of power by calling the shots—when you will engage, or not engage with your partner, and how much information you will share. You value your freedom, and you fear you will lose your identity and your partner will consume and smother you, which is why you withdraw and become emotionally unavailable.
If you identify as male, are you the Knight in Shining Armor, Clingy Guy, Sergeant Major, Victim, or the Tin Man?
When you are in the Knight in Shining Armor, you gain a sense of power and control through appreciation and being needed. You "need" to be "needed!" You have warmth, compassion, understanding, empathy, and are supportive. Your partner enjoys your optimism and positive outlook on life. You will charge in and "rescue" your partner, even when they don't ask for your help; your partner is now indebted to you for your support. If your partner doesn't need rescuing, you may sabotage events or situations to gain power and feel "needed."
When you are in the Clingy Guy power archetype, you gain a sense of power and control in the relationship through attention-seeking. You are insecure, you lack trust, highly sensitive, clingy, and critical of your partner; you need "lots" of reassurance. You are insecure and jealous, and behave anxiously in your relationships. You can be constantly in your partner's face so they have to give you attention.
When you are in the Sergeant Major power archetype, you gain a sense of power and control in the relationship through intimidation. Out of all the power archetypes, the Sergeant Major is the most aggressive. You are very focused, authoritative, determined, and get straight to the point. You demand order and structure in your life. The more out of control you feel internally, the more you need to control your partner and your external world.
When you are in the Victim power archetype, you gain a sense of power and control in the relationship through manipulation and passivity. You are the most passive of the male power archetypes. You are loyal, sensitive, and insecure. You will use the "helpless" card and "blame" to control your partner and get support. You do not like conflict so you use passive tactics to compete for power.
When you are in the Tin Man power archetype, you gain a sense of power and control in the relationship by withholding love, affection, and information. You retreat into your tin shell to avoid intimacy and connection. You are a hardworking, dependable person who enjoys routines. You have rigid boundaries and find it difficult to make changes. You avoid feelings believing you don't have a heart.
If you had a choice, I bet you'd opt for the Heroine or The Knight, and you'd avoid the Needy Nag and Victim at all cost!
The Knight and the Heroine have patterns, stories, myths, and programs that shape what people do, and how they interact in relationships too!
To recognize and change your relationship patterns so you share power and become a power couple, you need to know how power archetypes are at play in your life.
Are you ready to take the quiz and discover your dominant power archetype?
The results of the quiz will be influenced by how you feel at the time you complete it. For instance, if you just argued with your partner or another significant person in your life, this will impact your feelings and how you perceive the statements; if you have just had a lovely romantic dinner, your feelings will be influenced, and your perception of the statements will differ.
Therefore, if you find that you do not agree with your results, you may opt to fill out the quiz again, at a time when you feel free from such influences.
The extent to which we inhabit an archetype is on a spectrum and sliding scale. As with all things, take from the quiz what resonates with you and discard the rest.
If you have any questions about your results or a relationship situation, click here (or the "Let's Connect" link below) to contact me and make time for a free 30-45 minute consultation.
I look forward to connecting.
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