Stress In a Relationship

Stress in a relationship and the breakdown of a relationship affects the health, emotional well-being, and wealth of those involved. 

In fact, in 2018, Relationships Foundation estimated that the social cost of relationship stress and breakdown cost approximately £51 billion, "up from £37 billion ten years ago." That is more than £1,500 a year per taxpayer in the United Kingdom alone. 

Research shows that relationship discord can have serious negative consequences. Not just financial, but also the emotional cost on you, family members, or any children involved, the penalty will, therefore, be even higher. 

When you experience feeling stressed, healthy relationships can face difficult situations. For instance, if you've had a hard day at work and you're experiencing chronic stress, who do you take it out on? Unfortunately, people have a tendency to take out their frustrations on the people they love the most. High stress levels can impact your sex life and many couples find that feeling stressed affects relationships, their life circumstances, and even have health problems such as blood pressure.

Unexpected life events have even earned their own stress label such as, covid19 stress. Stress management during these times can be particularly testing, which is why it's important to put strategies in place to support you and your partner. For example, if you feel stress causes you to become frustrated, take a step back, go to separate rooms, work on your communication skills (particularly listening), and offer solutions when requested. Many people are struggling at this time and feel that their relationship is over and they'll no longer have the "happily ever after." Some are coming to the realization their relationship is over.

On the other hand, others have reignited common interests in their relationship during the lockdown period. They share related articles and how to "spice up" their relationship, and leave love notes for one another around the house. They have found that the support of their partner has improved their mental health and are moving forward in their new reality with a sense of strength.  

Some people find a therapist to support them to become better at managing their stress and bring them closer together with their partner and develop techniques to let go of situations and feelings that affect their relationship.

To reduce stress in a relationship and your anxiety levels so you can communicate your feelings, fears, and needs with your partner, there is one very simple, powerful, and free technique that will support you in your relationship.

Amit Ray profile
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“Conscious breathing is the best antidote to stress, anxiety and depression.”

Conscious Breathing

To decrease stress and increase the positivity in your relationship, you become conscious of your breathing.

How does taking charge of how you breathe increase positive relationships?

Well, when you’re under stress or triggered by your partner, it is counterproductive to your relationship.

Think about the last time your partner triggered you. How well did you respond and how did that impact you and your relationship?

Wouldn’t it be great if you had a technique that would help to calm you down and defuse the argument so you can calmly work through your differences?

Reduce your stress by taking deep breaths, particularly if you're in a stressful relationship! This article will describe the importance of deep breathing and provide one breathing technique to support you to do this.

You can decrease your anxiety, stress, and worry, in an instant without seeing a Doctor or therapist and it’s free, by taking slow deep breaths.

The breath is the first and last thing we do in life, and without it, we would not survive. We consider the breath, life force energy; it gives us life.

Breathing is an unconscious activity of the body. However, we can control it consciously. Unfortunately, the average person has become used to shallow breathing and only takes in a fraction of air for their lungs, and this includes people who are physically fit. Ideally, people would inhale enough air to fill their lung capacity.

People’s breathing becomes more shallow and rapid when under stress. Shallow breathing causes carbon dioxide to drop in your bloodstream, and if this drops too low, it causes your blood vessels to constrict throughout your body.

As a result, you may notice when you are under stress, your speech becomes faster, your thoughts become more muddled, and if this continues for a while, you can develop a headache and become dizzy. When you’re stressed and worrying, shallow breathing further negatively impacts on your mental and physical well-being.

Quick Tip

Do not underestimate the importance of deep breathing for managing stress, worry, fear, and anxiety.

Breathing slowly and deeply releases endorphins and allows the life force energy to enter your body (instead of blocking it) and it instantaneously relieves your stress, calms your mind, and relaxes your body. 

If you want to reduce stress increase positive relationships, the following technique is quick to master.

Deep Breathing Technique


Adjust your posture by pushing your shoulders back to open up your throat and chest to allow more air into your body.


Scan your body for tension.


Imagine your lungs go to your abdomen, and you have to fill the bottom of your lungs with oxygen first.


Notice your breath as you slowly breathe in through your nose, and fill your lungs with oxygen, and your stomach expands (do not raise your shoulders or expand your chest).


Hold your breath for one second and send the oxygen to the extremities of your body (hands, feet, and head).


Slowly breathe out of your mouth.


As you breathe out the stale air, feel the tension and stress leave your body.


Repeat this process a few times (approximately six times). Re-scan your body for tension and continue if required.

Quick Tip

Anxiety is the feeling of excitement but without the breath. If you want to transform your anxious feeling into excitement, breathe deeply!

The next time you feel stressed, worried, fearful, or anxious, notice your breathing and you will probably realize it is shallow and rapid. Remember your deep breathing technique; it doesn’t take long to master and reduces stress in you and your relationship. 

When you feel anxious in your relationship and want to take your frustrations out on your partner, try to remember to pause and breathe deeply. You may want to sit quietly together and do the breathing exercise. Why not take turns where one partner does the exercise and the other person observes the person letting go of their tension and stress?

Your turn: How does stress impact on you and your relationships? 

What are your triggers?

How does your body feel?

How do you manage stress? 

How does it affect you and others around you?

What can you do differently? 

If you want to book a coaching session with me, 

Until next time


Relationship Coach and Dating Coach

Coach 2 Connect

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